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THE213: The Art and Science of Gift Giving with John Ruhlin

Our Guest is John Ruhlin

John Ruhlin

John Ruhlin is a speaker, author, and advisor. He is the author of Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention. Today, he speaks about the concept of gifts and how there is a right and wrong way to give.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

  • It’s not about the gift you give, but the human connection you build
  • Sending unexpected gifts at unexpected times
  • The return on relationships
  • Why you need to focus on your warm market first

Episode Highlights:


Building Human Connection Through Giftology

What most people forget whether they’re a sales rep or a million-dollar business, or a billion-dollar company, is every business rises and falls on relationships. Whether that’s relationships with clients, mentors, advisors, employees, and prospects, most people, however, are terrible at showing gratitude to even their spouse, let alone their top 100 clients or their top 500 employees or whatever.

At the end of the day, nobody cares about gifts, but the results in the referrals and how you show up for people matter. The gifts are the delivery vehicle for this emotional connection. It’s actually not about the thing that you’ve given, but it’s the meaning, the story, the thoughtfulness.

When you’re more thoughtful and more creative with how you love on people, you can spend 1/10 the amount of money and get 100 times more impact.

The problem with many people, however, is they’re trying to buy their way with sponsorships and advertising, as well as Facebook ads and cool sexy events and models. But you need to understand the psychology of how to influence people and how to do it either in a thoughtful way with no strings attached.

Most people give then they ask and ruin it. They actually damage relationships because they’re not giving a gift but they’re trying to manipulate. You need to show up for people and then show up again and then show up again. Then maybe after doing this for a year or two or three to people you already have a relationship with, you earn the right to ask for a referral. And so, don’t give a gift and ask for a referral otherwise you would only turn that relationship into a transactional deal.

The Return on Relationships

When you show up for your wife, your husband, your client, or your employee, it’s because you want to, and not because you had to – and all that changes everything.

There’s no other part of your business where you can get a better return on investment than a return on relationship. But many times, people don’t understand this return on relationship. You should be inspiring all of your clients to be sales reps for you. And if you do that well, you get referrals without asking. It’s not about the gift. It’s about the results on the back end of loving people well.

Why Start With Your Warm Market

Start with the warm market because when you do, you’re already taking that small fire that’s already burning. Now, imagine drowning a bunch of wood with gas and there’s no fire. And so, you just wasted all your resources. If you want to get somebody to be in your corner, start with a relationship first and then pour gasoline on fire that’s already warm and burning.

Resources Mentioned:

Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention

Connect Further with John Ruhlin

Official Website

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